


Whatever tomorrow may bring

by Ailendolin



Series: Beginnings and endings [1]
Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War speculations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Past Torture, Past Violence, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 08:19:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12813456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailendolin/pseuds/Ailendolin
Summary: It started on Midgard with the words, „I am going to betray you tomorrow.“The night before the final battle against Thanos Loki has a plan and hopes for Thor's support.





	Whatever tomorrow may bring

**Author's Note:**

> This story is just one of a million possible explanations of why Loki would take the Tesseract at the end of Thor: Ragnarok and give it to Thanos. I refuse to believe that Loki is going to side with Thanos after all the character development in Ragnarok, so I came up with this. It's all pure speculation, of course, but I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned here. They are the property of Marvel.

**Whatever tomorrow may bring**

It started on Midgard with the words, „I am going to betray you tomorrow.“

They were at the tower where he had been freed of the mad titan’s hold over him all those years ago by the green monster. Thor’s room was small but luxuriously equipped. A huge window offered them a beautiful view of New York. A million lights shone in the darkness, but Loki didn’t see any of them. His eyes were fixed on his brother instead.

“I thought you should know,” he added with a half-hearted shrug of his shoulders that was supposed to show indifference but served to hide his anxiety just as well.

Thor, predictably, frowned at him, confusion and underlying pain clear in his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

Loki would have laughed if their situation hadn’t been so dire. “It’s not what you think and I need you to listen, Thor. There isn’t much time. Tomorrow, I will take the Tesseract and give it to Thanos and-“

“You will do no such thing!” Thor ordered, taking a step closer towards Loki as if that simple action could stop him.

A small smile tugged the corner of Loki’s lips upwards, edged with quiet resignation and acceptance. He hadn’t expected any less from his brother. Still, he would have liked to avoid the following. With a sigh, he held out his bandaged hand and Thor stopped in his tracks, being held in place by magic.

“I need you to listen,” Loki stressed, ignoring the way his hand trembled and ached. He really shouldn’t use anymore of his seiꝺr, not so soon after their latest battle, but he had no choice, not with Thor glaring at him like that and struggling against his invisible bonds.

“How can I possibly listen when you try your best to destroy the Nine Realms and everything beyond?” Thor asked. He shook his head in disbelief. “I thought we were past this, Loki.”

Loki sighed wearily. Maybe he should have gone with a different conversation opener. “I have no intention of destroying any realm, Thor.”

“But you just said-“

“I know what I said,” Loki interrupted him. His patience was running thin. “But I wasn’t finished yet. Will you please listen now?”

After a moment’s hesitation Thor nodded. He still looked skeptical but Loki counted it as a win.

“Thank you,” Loki breathed in relief. He really didn’t have the energy to fight with his brother right now, not with what he was about to do in a few hours. “Do you remember when Mother taught us the Midgardian game of chess?” he asked. Thor looked confused at the sudden change of topic but nodded. Loki went on. “She told us that sometimes, in a long game, you need to make sacrifices so that in the end you can win. We need to do the same now if we want to win this war, Thor. That’s why I will take the Tesseract to Thanos tomorrow. I will offer it to him – and myself as well.”

Thor’s eyes widened as realization sunk in. He shook his head vehemently. “No, Loki.”

“We need someone on the inside,” Loki argued, “someone who can work against Thanos from within and I am the only one able to do that. You have seen where our last attempts to stop him led. Only death and destruction came from them. It is only a matter of time until one of us, one of your friends, will not get up again when the dust settles. Already most of us have been injured in some way.”

Loki nodded to the bandage that was wrapped around Thor’s head to make his point before he held up his own broken hand as well. For a brief moment he stared at it. It served as a stark reminder of the pain that was surely awaiting him once he was back in Thanos’s clutches. He shuddered as memories of tortures past crept towards the edges of his mind.

“You cannot go to him,” Thor pleaded.

It was exactly what Loki wanted to hear but not what he needed right now. Every fiber of his being already rebelled against the thought of going back to that place, back to the titan who stole so much from him, broke him and put him together again only to tear him apart once more, who still haunted his dreams most nights. Loki didn’t want to come face to face with him again and felt his heart speeding up at the mere thought of doing just that tomorrow. He wanted to run as far away as possible and that’s exactly why he needed Thor to tell him that he had to go.

Loki pushed his memories back to the darkest parts of his mind before he looked at his brother. “I must. I will not have anyone else face him like this,” he said fiercely, trying to convince both Thor and himself that there was no choice. “I will not have anyone else suffer the way I did.”

Thor closed his eyes in distress. “And I would not have you suffer anymore than you already have.”

“I know,” Loki said quietly, his brother’s words going straight to his heart. He remembered the tears in Thor’s eyes well after he finally told him about his fall from the Bifrost and subsequent capture by Thanos. They had spent hours talking that night on the ship as it made its way to Midgard until no secrets were left to tell. Loki had never felt so naked, so exposed as when he’d stopped talking and waited for Thor’s response. He’d never forget the soft look in his brother’s eyes as he’d stepped closer and put his arms around him and didn’t let go for the rest of the night.

With a weary sigh Loki finally released his hold on Thor and pushed the hand that was not broken through his hair. “There is no other way, Thor, not if we want to win.”

Thor took a tentative step forward. “You might not come back.”

“I probably won’t,” Loki agreed solemnly. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“I’m not,” Thor whispered fiercely. He stared at Loki with pleading eyes and it took all of Loki’s strength not to crumble under that gaze, grab his brother’s hand and start running as fast as he could, consequences for the rest of the universe be damned. But he knew there was no hiding before Thanos, not really. He had tried that over the last few years but no matter where he’d gone there had always been that nagging thought in the back of his head that this day might be the one where he was found. As much as he wanted to run Loki was tired of it as well, tired of living in a constant state of fear. If going back to Thanos would spare Thor and the rest of their people from that fate Loki was more than prepared to face his demons.

Thor must have seen something in his eyes because he lowered his head in quiet acceptance. He raised his arms and moved closer. Loki was sure his brother would embrace him next, something he had done on several occasions in the last few weeks. Loki had come to crave those moments, remnants of happier times and full of hope for a better future, and he did so now. But Thor came to a stop before Loki as if unsure whether his affection would be welcome or not.

Loki forced a smile on his face even though his eyes were burning. His vision blurred when he blinked. “Come now, give us a hug,” he said softly.

With a choked laugh Thor wrapped his arms around his brother. Loki reveled in the gentleness of the gesture that never failed to stir up memories of their mother. He allowed himself to close his eyes and simply enjoy Thor’s presence. He tried his best to commit this moment to memory – the warmth of Thor’s arms as they held him as if he were precious, the tickling sensation of Thor’s breath against his neck, the scent that was so uniquely his brother and somehow still discernible beneath the blood and grime of today’s battle, and finally the sound of Thor’s voice as he whispered broken words filled with anguish and grief and so much love into Loki’s ear.

“I will try my best to come back to you,” Loki promised quietly as he allowed himself to bury his face in Thor’s neck.

Thor’s arms around him tightened. “I will be here.”

“Thank you,” Loki whispered, closing his eyes. He savored the feeling of warmth and comfort and home, something he’d been missing for so long and only recently regained, for the time span of five heartbeats before he said, “I will have to wipe your memory now.”

Thor tensed and tried to loosen the embrace to look at him but Loki wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t look his brother in the eye when he took their last moments together away from him.

“Loki …” Thor mumbled, relaxing back into the embrace as he quietly accepted his fate. Loki’s throat closed up.

“I am sorry,” Loki said. Despite his best efforts his voice shook with emotion. “I promise you will remember in a day’s time, but for now I have to do this. I cannot risk Thanos looking into your mind and becoming aware of what is really going on.”

Thor didn’t even hesitate when he said, “I trust you, Loki.”

Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Loki felt hot tears escaping them but for once he didn’t care. That Thor would say that after everything that happened between them bordered on being a miracle and he couldn’t help but wonder how he possibly deserved someone like him in his wretched life.

One of Thor’s hands wandered up Loki’s back and came to rest against his neck, providing a comforting and grounding presence. “Whatever tomorrow may bring,” Thor began, “know that I love you, Loki.”

Had Thor said those words to him even a year ago Loki would have laughed in his face. Now he held on tight and clung to them with all his might. “And I you,” he whispered. He felt Thor smile against his neck and called on his seiꝺr. “Goodbye, brother.”

A moment later, Thor sagged in his arms and with as much gentleness as his tired body could muster Loki helped him to the bed. He reached for Thor’s hand and made sure his brother’s sleep was not plagued by worries and nightmares but filled with pleasant memories of their lives in Asgard when their family hadn’t been so broken yet. Mother used to do that for them whenever they had woken up from nightmares as children, once upon a life ago, and even though it cost Loki more energy than he could afford to spare, he did it gladly if only for the small smile that graced Thor’s features.

Then the exhaustion hit, and Loki’s knees buckled under him and he slid to the ground. His head came to rest against the bed, close to Thor’s hand, and he closed his tired eyes. Even though he was in desperate need of rest himself he knew he wouldn’t sleep. He had no one watching over his dreams and ever since Thanos had appeared before their ship his nights had been filled with paralyzing fear and the phantom pain of wounds long gone but never truly healed.

No, Loki would not sleep. He would rest his body and take comfort in the fact that this time, at least, he got to say goodbye. Tomorrow, he would face Thanos with his head held high and ignore the accusations his brother and his friends would shout at him because they didn’t know what he was actually doing. Later, they would realize his plan with Thor’s help but Loki would be far away by then. In the best case scenario, everything would go according to plan. Loki would sabotage Thanos from within and Thor and his friends would destroy Thanos, thus preventing the destruction of the universe. Afterwards, Loki would return to them, a little battered and bruised but overall fine. Worst case scenario, Thanos would see right through him and make his worst nightmares come true. He would turn him into a weapon and wield him against Thor in all ways imaginable. It would end with Thor dead in his arms, but Loki wasn’t naïve enough to expect the same fate for himself. No, Thanos would keep him alive and lay waste to his thoughts and body just as he liked to do until no happy memory, no hidden corner of his mind was left to cling to.

He shuddered and resolutely pushed those thoughts away. Loki hoped the last scenario wouldn’t come to pass, but he wasn’t entirely optimistic about the first one either. There was no way they were going to get this lucky. Instead he hoped for a different outcome, one that seemed more realistic to him. He hoped he’d be able to fool Thanos long enough to give his brother and his friends the advantage they so desperately needed to win the war. And if he died doing that then so be it. It was the duty of a prince, after all, to defend his land and people. He’d already failed Asgard, his mother and the Allfather in that regard, but he would not fail Thor and what remained of the Aesir. He refused to.

“Please be safe tomorrow,” Loki pleaded quietly and his voice echoed in the dark room. He reached for Thor’s hand and took comfort in its warmth. “I cannot do this without you.”

Thor slept on, unaware of Loki’s inner turmoil and thundering heartbeat, and it was his brother’s peaceful smile that Loki desperately held onto the next day when he was back in Thanos’s hands and only pain remained. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please let me know if you'd be interested in a sequel that deals with the aftermath of this story.
> 
> Edit: The sequel "Stay with me" is now published.


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